Archive for May, 2010

Telemarketer! Stop Calling!

Ok… In the past two days i have received 6 calls from the Chattanooga Times Newspaper. They call and ask if my mom is home. No, i say. She’s not may i take a message. They hang up.


Random post


Breaking News: My Childhood Lacking Photos

I’ve always liked looking at pictures of my childhood… Enjoying the memories… Sitting by the fire, thinking of the good old days when I was just born:And the fun times when I was a toddler:And the joys of My first year in grade school:And then middle school:

Wait! Isn’t something missing?!? I mean come on! From 1st grade to 7th?!? There might be a couple of grades missing there… like… I don’t know… maybe… 5! A lot of important things happened within those missing years. Like 3 feet, acne, cool sunglasses, birthdays….. REALLY cool sunglasses (I mean seriously look at those things! pic 4.) Is it too much to ask for maybe one or two pictures of my childhood.

See this: Imagine me on my death-bed, age 86. The doctor says, “I’m sorry but there’s no way he’s going to survive… Any dying wishes you know of?” I say, “Yes… Before I die, I’d like to look at some pictures of the good old days when I was a youngling…” My Son will say, “Sorry pops, your mom never took any pictures…. How bouts’ a popsicle?”

So a word of advice. When you have kids, take plenty of pictures.

Because I don’t want a freaking popsicle

Big Bubba

Ok i need your help. Tell me which design you like better (and just so you know i drew this in like 20 seconds with a sharpie standing up, so don’t make fun of me)

My Readers Lie

I made a post to keep track of who saw my blog post. It was a test, which one of you failed. Just so you know, i have a graph that shows me what you clicked, when you clicked it, how many times you went to the site, how long you where there, and which posts you saw. 1 Person saw that post and didn’t comment… i know who you are

I recently started using this website. It’s fun and i like it.

That’s the kind of insight that my blog readers keep coming back for.

Ye, Blog Readers! Make Yourself Known!

I’m taking note of how many people look at my blog. Please comment below if you saw this post. I’m begging you. I’m typing this on my freaking knees.

Hygienists, Scalpels, And Gums, Oh My!

Today i went to the dentist’s office for my monthly (more or less) check up. Everything was going normal till i got there. That’s when i saw that the hygienist i usually get checked by wasn’t there. Turns out she relocated to an office in Cleveland. I was very sad, because unlike most doctors, i actually LIKED my hygienist. I thought to myself, “Oh well…. A hygienist is a hygienist, right?” Wrong. I went to the torture chair they make you sit in at the dentist and relaxed, waiting for my new hygienist to come. And in walks Satan. She bends back the chair till i’m exceedingly uncomfortable, and starts poking me repeatedly with her Pitchfork (a.k.a, scalpel). She then precedes to tell me that i need to brush my gums better because they’re bleeding. Well DUH! That’s what tends to happen when you poke them repeatedly! Don’t need a stinkin’ degree to know that ya’ idiot! But i kept my cool. “Ok…” i said, dreading the rest of the appointment.

She then told me to open my mouth. I obeyed, being the one without the sharp thingiemajig. I was rudely squirted with water i wasn’t prepared for. Having the catlike reflexes that i do, i quickly slammed my mouth closed. Not one of my better ideas… Water kept squirting me. But this time, instead of going in my mouth, it went all over my face, and shirt. “Look what you did!” she said. “Sorry” i replied. After Satan was done touching my face she told me i could go. (Thank god)!

I went to get something out of the toy box, and she stared at me. I think she was making sure i didn’t take more than one thing. I don’t really know how to close up this post, so i’m going to try something new…