My Manly Dentist


I was at the dentist’s today getting my check up thing, when it occurred to me that my dentist was wearing a very nice necklace. I thought to myself, “That can only mean one thing……. My dentist robs jewelry stores.” That fact led me to think different thoughts. One of them being, “Why is there a large man coming in here like i’m going to let him touch my face?” But it looked to me like i didn’t have much of a choice. So i toughened it up, and prepared for the worst…… And that’s when he cracked his knuckles. After he was done tormenting his fingers he stood up, the rain hitting the window…. piter pater piter pater…. the wind blowing the only tree visible through my cage…. the chair creaking as he stood up…. and grabbed a pair of pink dentist gloves. Now i’m not saying latex gloves aren’t manly. It’s just that they don’t really say, “I’m a big man who cracks his knuckles….” Not only that, but he also kept leaning my chair back to an angle very awkward. Here is a picture of it.Awkward Chair

And it seemed he had all brawn and no brain. I jump to this conclusion because after he was done getting in touch with his feminine side, he asked me to make my tongue touch the top of my mouth. “Okay.” I said. “Now the left side.” He replied, obviously not satisfied with my previous efforts. “Okay.” I say again. “Now the right side.” I did what the Man/Woman said, but my curiosity had been tested. There was one thing i couldn’t leave until i had asked. I spoke up and said, “Are you making sure i know my lefts from rights?” He chuckled (which is a good sign, because it meant he probably wouldn’t eat me) and said, “Ha, ha, ha…. No. I’m just checking your tongue for signs of cancer, or strange growths. I, (being polite) instead of saying, “Your mom has strange growths!” I refrained to simply stating, “oh…” That was probably a good thing, since he was the one with the sharp hook thing. After about ten more minuets of this torture i was enabled to leave my cage in the back of the dentist office. But i would not leave without the most important thing you can ever get from a dentist. A toy. I allowed the dentist to leave and the nurse to come in. She said, “Anything i can help you with?” “Uh….. yeah. Do you think you could get me a toy?” (awkward silence) “Yeah. I guess you can have a toy…. what do you want?” “Just a bracelet” I said. “What color?” Now there was a question. What color….. What color….. i thought to myself, “Why not?” And  that’s when i replied, “Pink please.”

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  1. I comment on my own blog….. That’s sad…

    • Hunter Almy
    • April 1st, 2010

    haha. DENTIST!!!!

    • Hannah Stim.
    • April 8th, 2010

    Wow. I saw this link on your facebook page.I probably shouldn’t have clicked it. hahaha. Where do you come up with this stuff? haha

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